Circumstance

At our first ultrasound this week, there was discovered a subchorionic hemmorhage in my uterus which is basically a blood clot between the placenta and the uterine wall. This condition can correct itself during the pregnancy or, in some cases, can cause a first or second trimester miscarriage or pre-term birth. (I realize that, most likely, I will only experience second trimester bleeding and nothing life-threatening will occur; I don't want to make this into a bigger deal than it is. It is a little strange to think that something could happen any day - which is true of any life though!) It took a few hours to absorb the information, but then I had a chance to truly reflect.

I have a friend that has been a real blessing to me lately, bringing lots of meals while I have morning sickness and sending many encouraging emails along the way. I was responding to one of her emails just now, when I thought maybe I would put part of the response on here as it sort-of summed up my reflections...

"I've been thinking a lot about peace this year...putting my life on the table and saying, "It's yours, God. Do with it as you wish." And then being ready to give him glory as I watch him work. Do you want us to move to ****? Okay. Do you want us to stay? Okay. Do you want to take this baby? Okay. Do you want us to keep this baby? Okay.

I love become "unattached" in a sense to my circumstances, simply seeing circumstances as the means for God to become more famous through my little life. (Not that I'm not affected by circumstances, but it's different when our hope is not in this life, ya know?) The circumstances are not the end, they are just the means! The glory of God is the end, and in that, we can ALWAYS have peace because we can ALWAYS bring God glory - through any circumstance!"

So here are my prayer requests regarding this sweet baby:
*That God would restore my body to health if that would bring him the most glory.
*That God would allow this baby to be carried to term if that would bring him the most glory.
*That I would respond to his answered prayer in a way that brings him the most glory.
*That we would be able to have a low-risk delivery that would allow us to have a home birth this time....of course, if that would bring God the most glory!
*That the circumstances surrounding this pregnancy would lift Jesus up, regardless of what that means needs to happen.

I value JESUS more than I value my own life or the life of this baby, and I am willing to sacrifice anything and everything if it is God's will and brings more glory to his name.

You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

1 Cor 6:19-20